I have met so many men that for some reason think there is such thing as a league. What men fail to realize is that women on the most part are less visual than men. While we do have preferences and tend to go for the same type of person as ourselves AKA foodie with foodie fit with fit etc, most women that have lived a little appreciate a man with a good heart and a nice smile over the gym rat who spends 2-hours-a-day-every-day in the gym getting those 6 pack abs.

We would rather have someone with the same hobbies and lifestyle as us than someone we will feel we constantly need to keep up with or compete with. Most of us don’t want to try to date the “10’s”…they are honestly just too much work and many times their ego requires way too much stroking.

However, don’t assume that just because someone is attractive they won’t be into you if you don’t have the same style. (ie, she looks like a diva the one night out at the club, while you are a bit more jeans and sneakers.)  Usually when you meet someone for the first time you aren’t seeing them and their native environment. If you meet a girl at the wine bar and she’s dressed up and out with her friends, how do you know what she’s like when she drives back out to her house in the country? What if she is thinking and wondering the same thing about you and wishing for God’s sake won’t somebody come up to me and ask me about politics and stop complimenting my hair?

Enough with the pick up lines and thinking someone is out of your league!  Just go have a normal conversation with them based on current events or local happenings–treat them like a person and see what happens. Remember each time someone says “no,” you get that much closer to a yes. There’s nothing wrong with offering to buy them a drink right off the bat, but having a little conversation first can help you see if there is any point.

Compliments are great but if she is dressed up with her friends she already know she looks good and that is probably the reason you came over. By treating her like a person instead of a piece of art, you’re saying you’d like to get to know her more than skin deep, and it will pique her interest more-so than, “hey, you look great tonight; can I buy you a drink?” Boringggggg.

I hope you think differently the next time you go out with your guys.  Good luck!

Advertisements